soon asleep

by drowse

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  • Limited Edition Cassette of soon asleep and 40 Page-Memoir 'Mnemonic'
    Cassette + Digital Album

    Very limited 'soon asleep' Cassettes out on //APNEICVOID//.
    Comes with a 40 page memoir piece I wrote title 'mnemonic' and is packaged with a lyric sheet on high quality paper in a large case.

    You can also purchase it here:
    apneicvoid.com/consume/26516449

    40 Hand Painted Translucent Pill Bottle Orange.

    10 Transparent, White Pill inside.

    Includes unlimited streaming of soon asleep via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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  • Limited "Tour Edition" Cassette w/ 40 Page Memoir, 'Mnemonic'
    Cassette + Digital Album

    Handmade for the 2016 'memory bed tour', this hand numbered clear cassette edition of 'soon asleep' comes in an envelope with medication labels; It is packaged with the 40 page memoir, 'Mnemonic', and a large lyric sheet.

    Includes unlimited streaming of soon asleep via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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  • Pill Hand
    T-Shirt/Apparel + Digital Album

    Pale purple ink on black T-shirt. Photo and design by Alec van Staveren.

    "Can cause paranoid or suicidal ideation and impair memory, judgment, and coordination. Combining with other substances, particularly alcohol, can slow breathing and possibly lead to death."

    Includes unlimited streaming of soon asleep via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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credits

released June 9, 2015

Written and recorded by Kyle Bates from late May 2014 to early March 2015 in a closet room and a moldy basement in NE Portland.

Tuesday Faust sang on “melt” and “awake”.

Alec van Staveren played bass on “something”.

The wolves on “melt” live in the forests around Squamish, BC and were recorded by Bella Tsefalas.

Mastering handled by Parker Johnson
(nogodsnomastering.tumblr.com).

pill bottles, hand and mnemonic photographs by Alec van Staveren.

Squamish photograph by Olivia Tsefalas.

drowse photograph by Dani Ransom.

Design and layout by Daniel Schultz.

Here I would like to thank people and things directly involved in the content of soon asleep, Mnemonic and drowse as a project (if we are or have ever been close thank you for being in my life, you know who you are): Parker Johnson (Italics), Alec van Staveren, Kevin Gwozdz (Desert of Hiatus) and Taylor Malsey (Taylor M.) for helping me bring this music to life—my mother, father and sister—Tuesday Faust for your beautiful voice—Daniel Schultz for being intensely supportive and releasing this—Bella Tsefalas—my journal—Victoria Ayers and Cooper Campbell for the video work—Dani Ransom for turning your lens on me—Rachele Mosley—Kristina Esfandiari, Thom Wasluck, Iphigenia Gras, Nicole Colbath and Lane Oliver for convincing me that this project is worth continuing—Olivia Tsefalas for the perfect photograph—Alana Schachtel—Gato Negro—Clonazepam—dreams—Mat Miller for releasing songs to sleep on—Phil Elvrum for casting a shadow—sadness—anything and everybody I have forgotten. Isn’t memory strange?

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drowse Portland, Oregon

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Track Name: melt
above the clouds
carved out by black wires
snow melts beneath my feet

garbage heap
across the river
we quietly breathe in

my bedroom
waking from a dream
mind circles again

morning yawns
a birdsong
pill melts beneath my tongue

i sigh
slowly being buried
calm white haze
my body melts away
Track Name: meaning
we all grow to doubt at times
slowly fall apart
unwind
becoming undone to find
we all feign life
sometimes

to wait, to hope
it’s hopeless
been broken
for a while

to make my life
meaningful
after realizing
the meaninglessness of life

absurd condition—aesthetic person
Track Name: awake
pick me up
on mount tabor

city mirrored in the water
getting darker

the liquid in
our glass

spin around
‘till lights are silent

as i grow older
i will erase myself

i’ll drink your wine

can you tell me the difference
between living and a dream?
what does it look like—
been living in a dream

when bodies almost double
and i’m almost somebody
and i can feel
that something
slipping from my chest

can you tell me the difference
between living and a dream?
what does it taste like?
been living in a dream

when colors lose their sway
and shapes lose their color
and i can’t smell
the bile
dripping from my throat

i’ll know i’m awake
Track Name: something
feeling faint around others
hoping I’m just another

on my own:
self imposed

bitter teeth, aching gums
open mouth, spoiled tongue

breathing’s hard when you’re young

“i used to be something
living’s turned me into nothing”

i once had something
now empty feel nothing

“are you afraid of death?

yeah.

me too. there’s no way out of it. you’re going to die. i’m going to die. it’s going to happen. what difference does it make if it’s tomorrow or in eighty years? much sooner in your case. do you know how fast time goes? i was six like yesterday.

me too.

we’re going to die. you are going to die. what else is there to be afraid of?”

i used to feel something
leaving’s turned me into nothing

i am empty. i am nothing.
Track Name: returning
regret repress regret repress regret repress regret